success

Dec 06 2017

Motivation Gets You Started- Habit Keeps Your Going. But Only This Quality Enables You to Finish and Succeed

“Motivation is what gets you started. Habit is what keeps you going.”
Jim Rohn

There is much wisdom in the much-shared quote from Jim Rohn; but it is only two thirds of the picture. The third element is essential when it comes to achieving great things. It goes by the name of resilience.

Not as sexy as motivation. Not as easy to give practical advice for, as the concept of habits is. But if you don’t have resilience – then you’re unlikely to succeed. Just look around at the many individuals and organizations that started out with great energy, enthusiasm and promise but failed to reach the finishing line.

But I Did Everything Right

You may be highly motivated, have done the detailed planning with your Gantt chart, collated the necessary resources and done all of the right things at the right time and in the right way. But you can bet your bottom dollar you are going to face unexpected setbacks that push you to your limits.

There seems to be an equation which is something like the greater your goals and ambition, the more obstacles you will face along the way.

A Well Trodden Path

Most people are familiar with the account of Colonel Sanders and his bid to bring his Kentucky Fried Chicken recipe to the world. He was reportedly turned down 1009 times. Yes, you read right- 1009 rejections.

Agatha Christie faced 5 years of continual rejections and J K Rowling’s Harry Potter manuscript was rejected by 12 publishing houses. By contrast in terms of activity and time frame you might remember the resilience displayed by Kerri Strugg in the 1996 Olympics. If you don’t here’s the clip

I could go on with examples from the battlefield or the world of startups but you get the picture. It is rare for there to be gain without pain.

Prioritize Resilience

There is a debate amongst experts as to what is extent people are born resilient, how much is developed during childhood and what can be learned and developed. While the debate continues, what remains clear is that with effort and a willingness to experiment you can increase your resilience.

Whether it’s incorporating a daily practice of stepping out of your comfort zone, upgrading your mindset or using brain entrainment technologies there are plenty of options. One size doesn’t fit all hence my reference to a willingness to experiment.

At the end of the day, whether your planning to put a ding in the universe or want to provide a good lifestyle for your family, give as much thought to becoming resilient as you do to motivation and habits and your chances of crossing the finish line will increase dramatically.

Martin Soorjoo works with individuals and teams to improve their Performance, Focus and Pressure Management

Aug 28 2017

How to Harness Fear, Failure and Frustration to Dramatically Increase Motivation

Motivation is frequently linked to optimism and positivity. The 1952 classic and bestseller ‘The Power of Positive Thinking’ by the Reverend Norman Vincent Peale, was translated into 15 languages and to date has sold more than 7million copies. It is still very popular today.

Positive thinking dominates the fields of self-help and human performance, from images with inspirational quotations (the sort that I frequently share on social media) to the use of tried and tested mental performance tools such as positive self-talk and visualizing success.

To be clear, these tools are not used by hippies in fields of flowers living a vegan, organic lifestyle, but by Olympians, special forces operators and other elite performers, as well as being a management tool used by many Fortune 500 companies.

In ‘Thinking, Fast and Slow’, Nobel Prize-winner Daniel Kahneman described optimism as the “engine of capitalism” stating that:

“Optimistic individuals play a disproportionate role in shaping our lives. Their decisions make a difference; they are the inventors, the entrepreneurs, the political and military leaders — not average people.”

Professor Martin Seligman, former President of the American Psychological Association and credited as being the ‘father of Positive Psychology has repeatedly demonstrated that optimism promotes both resilience and persistence.

Seligman consulted with the Pentagon on the development of the military’s Comprehensive Soldier Fitness program, which sought to assess and enhance soldiers’ ability to cope with all of life’s challenges, including the mental rigors of combat.

The authors (one a retired Navy SEAL) of ‘Stronger: Develop the Resilience You Need to Succeed’ identify active optimism as the leading factor in personal resilience—the ability to tolerate stress, see opportunities in adversity, and keep pushing forward.

So it’s clear; being opimistic and focusing on the positive increases motivation, resilience and achievement. However…

The Downside of Being Upbeat

Over the past few years researchers, neuroscientists and psychologists have begun to demonstrate that focusing on the positive can be detrimental to motivation and achievement.

New York University psychology professor and author of ‘Rethinking Positive Thinking’ Gabriele Oettingen, persuasively contends that visualizing a successful outcome can make people less likely to achieve it.

Researchers have also found that people in a negative mood develop more persuasive arguments than people in a positive mood, and that negative moods can improve memory.

Perhaps this is why so many lawyers are negative and suffer from disproportionately high levels of depression than other professions. Although never suffering from depression, as a Barrister practising at the Bar of England and Wales for 14 years (arguing cases rather than making coffee), I certainly spent much of my career focusing on the negative.

Denial can also be a consequence of positive thinking. Barbara Ehrenreich, journalist and author of ‘Bright-Sided: How Positive Thinking Is Undermining America’, argues that the 2008 economic crisis was partly a result of people’s refusal to consider negative outcomes, like mortgage defaults.

The Upside of Focusing on the Negative

Focusing on the negative can have two distinct benefits. The first is the avoidance of denial and enabling of more effective planning. The second benefit is that negative emotions, possibly triggered by painful memories, can fuel determination and action.

One effective technique for utilising the power of negative focus is that of the premortem. Here you imagine things have gone wrong before they have and then analyse all of the reasons you might have failed.

Brad Stulberg, author of ‘Peak Performance: Elevate Your Game, Avoid Burnout’ and Thrive With the New Science of Success’ explains

“It may seem like the negative thinking inherent to a premortem would work against self-belief and confidence. But if anything, it actually works toward it. When you force yourself to become aware of all that could go wrong, you become more likely to take the necessary steps to ensure that things go right.”

Using the Dark Side as Motivation

Elite performers will frequently access their painful memories, dark thoughts and negative emotions to fuel their motivation during extreme challlenges.

Robert Wicks, psychologist and author of the book ‘Bounce: Living the Resilient Life’, talks of the angry resolve frustrated athletes feel as “sweet disgust”. This refers to the determination to fight back which goes hand in hand, in this context, with anger.

Tim Grover, coach to legends such as Michael Jordan and Kobe Bryant and author of the compelling ‘Relentless: From Good to Great to Unstoppable’ refers to controlled anger being a deadly weapon that

“can ignite our competitive intensity, laser focus, and a relentless craving to attack and conquer.”

Retired Navy SEAL and ultra-marathon runner, David Goggins, described as ‘the hardest man alive’ uses his difficult experiences to fuel his motivation as well as thinking some very dark thoughts. His achievements are truly remarkable. Watch this interview with him and you’ll immediately understand what I mean.

Last week I had the privilege of interviewing Ret Navy SEAL Commander, Alden Mills, for my podcast show. In addition to having operated in the SEALS, Mills also overcame asthma, going on to win a gold medal for rowing, went on to lead his first company to $90 million in sales in just three years and authored the excellent ‘Be Unstoppable: The 8 Essential Actions to Succeed at Anything’.

During the interview Mills describes how, in times of challenge, he would intensely visualize himself failing and the attendant painful consequences of doing so. These negative visualizations would help propel him forward to crush the obstacle or challenge.

Key Takeaways

Mental performance techniques and strategies that focus on positivity and active optimism can be powerful solutions for increasing motivation and action.

For some people, in some contexts, positive thinking can undermine motivation and achievement.

Anger, painful memories or future visualizations of negative outcomes can be very powerful tools for increasing motivation and driving performance, particularly when facing extreme challenges.

One size does not fit all. Which strategy works will depend on who you are, what is going on in your life at the time and what challenge you are facing.

Aug 13 2017

Success and The Upside of No Plan B

Get That History Degree

Responsible people and organizations always have a plan B. This approach is instilled in us from an early age. You may want to go to Hollywood but just in case, have a backup plan and get that history degree.

While there are clear benefits to the safety net of a plan B, there is a significant downside. The safety net may end up being a noose. From a psychological standpoint, if you know you have a backup plan then you cannot be 100% committed to plan A.

Not having a plan B is an approach that many successful individuals have intuitively understood is a key to winning. Elite athletes are well known for putting all of ‘their eggs in one basket’.

“The dangers of life are infinite, and among them is safety.” Goethe

According to Research…

Recent research from Wharton has confirmed the downside to making a backup plan. The process of considering a backup plan may result in less effort being invested in the primary goal, inevitably reducing the chances of success.

Professors Shin and Milkman, detail their findings in “How Backup Plans Can Harm Goal Pursuit: The Unexpected Downside of Being Prepared for Failure”.

The researchers found that simply thinking about a plan B, without actually creating it, was enough to cause people to lose focus on their goal. According to Milkman

“When people were prompted to think about another way to achieve the same high-level outcome in case they failed in their primary goal, they worked less hard and did less well.”

To be or Not to Be Responsible?

So do we play it safe but lessen our chances of winning? To some extent this depends on your ability to tolerate risk and the consequences of losing, in addition to the importance of your goals. Milkman and Shin suggest delaying making a backup plan until after you have done everything you can to achieve your primary goal, however, the reality is that sometimes this will be too late.

“Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things you didn’t do than by the ones you did. So throw off the bowlines, sail away from the safe harbor, catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover.” — Mark Twain

Aug 06 2017

How to Stop Being a Slave to Your Emotions and Change How Your Feel

Slaves to Emotion

There is a prevalent view in Western societies that it is ‘normal’ that our emotions and feelings influence and in many cases drive our actions. Excuses and justifications from ‘I didn’t feel like doing it’ or ‘I couldn’t help myself’ are the norm and often viewed as acceptable responses and justifications.

We believe that our emotional state is critical to whether we succeed or fail because, so the flawed reasoning continues, because our emotions influence or determine our actions.

Taking this reasoning to its logical conclusion, it is sometimes assumed that emotions ultimately determine our identity e.g. ‘I felt angry (emotion) and lashed out (action) and consequently I am an angry person (identity). We and others identify ourselves by our feelings and behavior.

The Prevalent But Flawed Model

Acting As If

The above approach not only undermines our ability to influence or determine our future but it overlooks the fact that our actions change how we feel. Psychologists have known this for centuries. William James, regarded as the founder of American Psychology, believed that emotions arise from the physical actions we take in response to what is happening in our lives. In other words, behavior creates emotion.

In recent times psychiatrists have started encouraging patients suffering from depression to smile for a few minutes at a time. One recent study found that smiling can double the chances of recovering from depression. You don’t need to feel happy, just make smile irrespective of how you feel inside and your emotions will soon start to match your external representation. Similarly, it has also been repeatedly demonstrated that exercise or even movement changes our emotional state both for the short and long term.

The 1971 Stanford Prison Experiment conducted by Professor Zimardo powerfully demonstrated when people took on certain roles and acted in a certain way they began to feel the way people in those roles felt and began to act consistently with those roles.

Over time, the more consistently you begin to act and consequently feel a certain way, the more you will take on that desired identity. To bring this point to life; if every morning you tackled your most important task first, worked through your priorities using the Pomodoro technique and blocked out distractions with noise canceling headphones and turning off all notifications you would be plainly be productive. If you were consistent in this behavior, over time your would begin to define and be defined as a productive person.

A Virtuous Cycle

None of the above should be taken as suggesting that emotions are irrelevant to our ability to succeed or fail. People often achieve greatness when they are fueled by emotion – both good and bad. By understanding and utilizing the power of action to influence emotion you can create a virtuous cycle where your actions determine your emotions and over time begin to shape your identity.

Martin Soorjoo works with individuals and teams to increase their Performance, Focus and Ability to Manage Pressure