Outperform Zone

Navigate Stress I Outperform Under Pressure

mental toughness

How to Stop Being a Slave to Your Emotions and Change How Your Feel

 

Slaves to Emotion

There is a prevalent view in Western societies that it is ‘normal’ that our emotions and feelings influence and in many cases drive our actions. Excuses and justifications from ‘I didn’t feel like doing it’ or ‘I couldn’t help myself’ are the norm and often viewed as acceptable responses and justifications.

We believe that our emotional state is critical to whether we succeed or fail because, so the flawed reasoning continues, because our emotions influence or determine our actions.

Taking this reasoning to its logical conclusion, it is sometimes assumed that emotions ultimately determine our identity e.g. ‘I felt angry (emotion) and lashed out (action) and consequently I am an angry person (identity). We and others identify ourselves by our feelings and behavior.

The Prevalent But Flawed Model

flawed emotions 1

Acting As If

The above approach not only undermines our ability to influence or determine our future but it overlooks the fact that our actions change how we feel. Psychologists have known this for centuries. William James, regarded as the founder of American Psychology, believed that emotions arise from the physical actions we take in response to what is happening in our lives. In other words, behavior creates emotion.

In recent times psychiatrists have started encouraging patients suffering from depression to smile for a few minutes at a time. One recent study found that smiling can double the chances of recovering from depression. You don’t need to feel happy, just make smile irrespective of how you feel inside and your emotions will soon start to match your external representation. Similarly, it has also been repeatedly demonstrated that exercise or even movement changes our emotional state both for the short and long term.

The 1971 Stanford Prison Experiment conducted by Professor Zimardo powerfully demonstrated when people took on certain roles and acted in a certain way they began to feel the way people in those roles felt and began to act consistently with those roles.

Over time, the more consistently you begin to act and consequently feel a certain way, the more you will take on that desired identity. To bring this point to life; if every morning you tackled your most important task first, worked through your priorities using the Pomodoro technique and blocked out distractions with noise canceling headphones and turning off all notifications you would be plainly be productive. If you were consistent in this behavior, over time your would begin to define and be defined as a productive person.

A Virtuous Cycle

None of the above should be taken as suggesting that emotions are irrelevant to our ability to succeed or fail. People often achieve greatness when they are fueled by emotion – both good and bad. By understanding and utilizing the power of action to influence emotion you can create a virtuous cycle where your actions determine your emotions and over time begin to shape your identity.

virtuous cyle

Martin Soorjoo works with individuals and teams to increase their Performance, Focus and Ability to Manage Pressure

In Defence of Winning

 

In recent times, competition and winning have got a bad rap. Some argue that competition is destructive and undermines cooperation and respect within society and organizations. It’s not the winning but the participation that matters, is a justification frequently advanced for not succeeding. In schools nowadays we see prizes being awarded for coming 10th.

While winning isn’t always everything and attempting to win at everything, aside from being an ego driven strategy, is a surefire way to achieve burnout, there can be little doubt that succeeding in what’s important to you, matters greatly.

Winning On your Terms

Whether it’s getting the job offer or promotion, raising venture capital or a family, winning in the boardroom or more importantly on the battlefield, winning can be the difference between depression and happiness, bankruptcy and solvency and in some cases life or death. The harsh reality is that there are rarely any meaningful second prizes for simply participating or practicing.

Remember Enron  and Armstrong

This is not to say that attempting to win by ‘any means necessary’ is acceptable.

Playing by the rules and respecting your competitors provides valuable learning and growth and helps maintain stability within societies and organizations. Cheating is nearly always ultimately destructive – just think of Enron and Lance Armstrong.

The ‘Win Win’ of Competition

Competition is the route to winning and of itself provides many benefits including being an engine of the global economy, raising standards and quality and spurring innovation. Studies have repeatedly shown that in a competitive environment, most people improve their effort and performance.

Attempting to win means we get better as we inevitably try harder and perhaps more importantly, we inspire others to seek to do better. We just need to remember how inspired we feel when we watch an Olympic athlete win the gold medal or our team win the Superbowl. We admire their mental toughness, resilience and determination.

When we have the courage to go for gold and be the best that we can, we and others win, even when we lose.

Martin Soorjoo works with individuals and teams to increase their Performance, Effectiveness and Resilience.  

Use This Spartan Technique for Increasing Your Mental Toughness and Resilience

Talent is overrated and the mentally tough are more likely to succeed in business and in life. Resilience and robustness are preconditions to achievement. Most people are now aware of this, but unclear how to take things from the realm of interesting information to practical benefit.

The good news for those who aspire to greater things is that mental toughness can be increased. This is something that sports and military psychologists have known for years. There are an increasing array of mental conditioning processes, validated by Neuroscience, that can make the mentally weak strong, and the strong, stronger.

One of the simplest ways to increase your mental toughness is by conditioning your brain to accept and embrace discomfort on a regular basis.  By pushing boundaries and introducing new daily and weekly challenges, your nervous system will adapt and you will grow stronger.

These ‘ challenges’ can be minor tweaks, walking up the stairs instead of taking the elevator, doing 50 push ups instead of 25, waiting that bit longer for your next meal or going without, giving social media a miss for a week or anything else that causes you discomfort on some level. The objective is to be comfortable being outside of your comfort zone.

 

Cold Shower Therapy

Taking cold showers is one way of bringing instant discomfort as well as providing many health benefits (increasing testosterone, boosting the immune system and decreasing inflammation to name a few). I have been taking cold showers for a few years now and no longer enjoy a hot shower (perhaps I need to mix things up and push myself by taking hot showers).

Taking it one step further, there are an increasing number of world-class athletes who take regular ice baths for 30 minutes or more. Having experience of ice baths, I can assure you that this is not a practice for the faint hearted.

The Spartans, who didn’t know the meaning of ‘comfort zone’ and despised weakness of any kind, used cold water to develop their toughness, bathing in freezing water on a regular basis.

If you decide to use physical challenges (including cold showers) as a tool for developing your mental toughness then take things gradually (if you have any health conditions or are infirm in any way then consult your doctor). Push your boundaries by increments e.g. change the water temperature slightly every day.

Stick with your daily discomforts for a month and soon you’ll start to embrace challenge as your brain makes the link between challenges leading to mental toughness.

Martin Soorjoo works with teams and individuals helping them increase their performance and resilience.