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Stress Management

Jan 09 2023

Make Stress your Friend Not Foe and Burn Bright Not Out

The Fast Lane to Stress

High Pressure, high consequence work environments require the ability to switch gears and ramp up at short notice in order to respond to unexpected crisis and challenges. 

Whether you’re a trader and a tweet has sent markets into free-fall, a senior executive and a scandal about your company has just broken, a lawyer whose star witness has done a 180 degree turn in their evidence or entrepreneur who has 12 hours’ notice for a one-shot VC pitch for $10 million; whatever your role, this experience of intense stress and pressure will be familiar.

Adrenalin and cortisol surge through your veins as you switch into fight, flight, or freeze mode. Your trusty autonomic nervous system enables you to adapt and respond to these new and unexpected challenges by preparing you for action. You are now officially stressed.

The Upside of Stress 

The form of acute short-term stress outlined above is not inherently bad and has several potential benefits including enhanced immunity, increased focus, alertness and resilience. When managed correctly, stress can be a powerful weapon and competitive advantage. Stress has protected us for as long as we have walked the earth, enabling us to become predator rather than prey. These upsides are often forgotten or overlooked. 

Stress can become destructive, however, when dust settles, and the crisis has passed. At that point, if you’d don’t rapidly switch gears, de-stress and decelerate, over time you’ll progress from acute to chronic stress and find yourself on the fast road to a town called Burnout. 

This was a mistake I repeatedly made as a busy lawyer in the nineties. The nature of my practice meant that many of my cases were fast moving with high stakes, but short. I would often have to burn the midnight oil for an important hearing the following morning and even if it was over by lunchtime, I would spend the rest of the day unnecessarily operating in fight mode. To make things worse I would then spend the evening in a local bar talking about (and consequently reliving) the details of the case over too many glasses of wine.

When Traditional Stress Solutions Fail

Stress coaching and literature typically focus on managing the stress response. The point that is rightly and repeatedly made, is that it is not the event but the perception of the event that results in the experience of stress. Managing, mindset, self-talk and breathing are powerful tools that can be utilised when responding to a crisis. 

The on the ground reality for many highfliers, however, is that when the trigger event occurs, the last thing they can think about is managing their mindset etc because they are focused on managing the situation rather than their emotions. This is why understanding the role of post-crisis recovery is critical.

Stress + Recovery = Growth

To mitigate the deleterious effects of stress, as soon as you have managed the crisis, take yourself into a recovery mode. Instead of turning to alcohol to unwind, spend a few minutes engaging in a practice that takes you out of fight, flight or freeze mode and helps you recharge and rebuild for the next curveball. Because you can be sure there will be more crises coming your way. 

Management of the negative effects of stress is no longer dependant on weekly therapy sessions. Most people are already overloaded and talked out and simply don’t have the capacity to spend an hour each week analysing their responses to stress. Besides, it’s far from ideal to wait a week feeling stressed until you see the therapist.

The Intersection of Technology and Zen

Neuroscience, technology, and ancient practices validated by science, now provide us with an array of easy to implement, effective, fast acting recovery solutions that you can easily implement without the intervention of a third party. These include:

  • 10 minutes of breathwork. Whichever technique you utilize the guiding principle is short inhale / longer exhale e.g., 4:6.
  • The use of brain entrainment techniques such as Isochronic tones or Binaural beats that activate Alpha brainwaves. Just pop in your ear buds and press play.
  • A heart coherence breathing practice.
  • A virtual reality session.
  • 15 minutes of Non-Sleep Deep Rest / Yoga Nidra.
  • Wearable technology that restores balance to the nervous system, calming both body and mind. There are several effective devices that use vibration to stimulate the vagus nerve calming and conditioning the nervous system.
  • A walk outside, ideally near a green space such as a park.

Burn Bright Not Out

A modest investment of 10-15 minutes engaged in post-crisis recovery will help ensure you avoid the devastating effects of long-term chronic stress and enable you to continue to burn bright, not out.

Written by martin soorjoo · Categorized: Stress Management

Nov 11 2017

Five to Thrive at the Weekend

After a full on week, towards the end of what may have felt like a long year, the weekends provide an opportunity to recharge and rejuvenate. There are many ways you can do that – great food, a massage or sauna or walk in the park on or on the beach.

Or you can read. I read over 200 articles and at least 8 books a month. These are five that either inspired, energized or nourished my mind in some way. The ones that made pause and think.

Article – 20 Rules of Life A Japanese Samurai Wrote Almost 400 Years Ago That Will Change You

I really loved this post as the rules are timeless and set standards that we should all aspire to. It made me realise how far I have to go.

Book – ‘Discipline Equals Freedom – A Field Manual’ By Jocko Willink.

This time a book written by a modern day warrior; a former Navy Seal Commander.

This is a very quick read, but every page packs a punch. It would be impossible not to make progress if you lived by only a handful of these principles. The perfect read if you’re struggling and / or have big ambitions.

Article – ‘How to Remember What You Read‘

This is an extremely useful resource that provides insights and practical advice, the usefulness of which goes way beyond remembering what you read.

Article – ‘This is the World’s Most Relaxing Song‘

This is a bold claim. The track is available for free on the internet, and having played it a number of times, I can say it definitely worked for me. Don’t listen to it while you drive.

Book- ‘Principles: Life and Work ‘ By Ray Dalio

Dalio is the founder of one of the largest hedge funds in the world.

The New York Times described the book as

“Significant…The book is both instructive and surprisingly moving.” and Bill Gates said

“Ray Dalio has provided me with invaluable guidance and insights that are now available to you in Principles.”

I am still listening to the book and have a feeling I will be listening to it more than once.

Have a great weekend

 

Written by martin soorjoo · Categorized: Resilience, Stress Management

Aug 30 2017

How to Improve Your Performance Under Pressure

under-pressure

 

“Everything can be taken from a man but one thing: the last of the human freedoms—to choose one’s attitude in any given set of circumstances, to choose one’s own way.”

Viktor E. Frankl, Man’s Search for Meaning

Your Response to Pressure is a Choice

How we respond to pressure is a choice. For most people, however, their response is in line with a ‘threat response’, which unless you are about to experience actual physical harm, is not only counterproductive to our long-term well being but also to performing well under pressure.

This is because when we activate our threat response, hormones including adrenalin and cortisol are released, speeding the heart rate and slowing digestion while our blood vessels constrict to minimize blood loss and increase inflammation. People may also experience fear and anger, while our Amygdala causes us to focus on the negative.

Choose the Challenge Response

The field of pressure management is changing rapidly with exciting new findings challenging old assumptions about and solutions to pressure. An effective response to non-physical pressure is the ‘challenge response’[1]. When we decide to frame an engagement as a challenge, we are typically more able to effectively access the cognitive resources necessary to perform well under pressure. When we ‘rise to the challenge’ we typically feel energized and excited in addition to experiencing a degree of anxiety.

Research has consistently demonstrated that when choosing the challenge response, students attain higher exam grades, surgeons operate with greater concentration and athletes perform better during competition.

Putting This into Practice

Long term the objective must be to bring about a mindset shift that leads to your default response to high-pressure (non-physical) situations being the challenge response. This can be achieved through mindset interventions.

If, however, you are facing an imminent high pressure challenge e.g. a public speaking engagement, job / promotion interview or a difficult negotiation, implement the following steps:

  1. If you have advance notice of the high-pressure challenge, spend a few minutes seeing it for what it really is, focusing on the positive aspects which may include:
  • It is not a life-threatening situation.
  • It is an opportunity to advance in some way.
  • You are capable to rising to this challenge.
  • You have done something similar before and received positive feedback.
  • You have faced and overcome more difficult challenges.
  • People want you to do well.
  1. Generate feelings of excitement and enthusiasm and commit to approaching your challenge in this emotional state.
  1. Spend a few minutes visualizing yourself performing well under pressure and feeling energized and focused. Contrary to popular but disproven belief, it’s important not to focus on the outcome but on your actual performance e.g. how you deliver your presentation or deal with questions. Focusing on the outcome simply increased the pressure you feel.

It’s important when visualizing to engage all your senses, so see what you will be likely to see, hear yourself speaking and feel how you want to feel.

If you want to take your visualization to the next level then take a leaf out of the books of special forces operators and world class athletes and anticipate things not going to plan e.g. being asked a question you didn’t anticipate but handling the situation calmly. In other words, expect the best but prepare for the worst.

Remember Pressure and Stress Save Lives

It’s important to acknowledge both our threat and challenge responses as assets that can serve us well and even save our lives. Pressure and stress have got a bad rap over the past few decades and there is some basis for this.

Recent exciting research, however, has proven that the mere act of choosing to perceive and indeed recognize pressure and stress as having the potential to be a good thing rather than something to be avoided at all costs, not only mitigates long term adverse consequences but supports better performance.

[1] The model of challenge and threat was developed by Blascovich and Tomaka (1996 & see also Blascovich & Mendes, 2000& Mendes, Blascovich, Lickel, & Hunter,2002& Mendes, Blascovich, Major, & Seery, 2001 & Tomaka, Blascovich).

Martin Soorjoo works with individuals and teams to improve Performance, Focus and Pressure Management

Written by martin soorjoo · Categorized: performance, Pressure management, Stress Management · Tagged: peak performance, performance, pressure management, resilience, stress, stress management

Aug 20 2017

The Power of Trade-Offs

Tradeoffs

Can You Have it all?

It took me several decades to fully appreciate that the myth that you can ‘have it all’ really is just that – a myth. This belief, often pedaled by personal development and success coaches, undermines fulfillment and meaningful achievement in our personal and work lives.

The belief that ‘you can have it all’ pervades our lives in various guises ranging from being busy rather than effective, multi-tasking rather than single tasking, working on multiple businesses and projects rather than one, having thousands of online ‘friends’ rather than enjoying a few deep ‘real world’ relationships.

Many Priorities vs One Real Priority

More than ever we live in an era where quantity is perceived as a triumph over quality. Always being busy, having plenty on the go and getting by on a few hours sleep are badges of honor. This thinking in part is driven by not wanting to miss out on the opportunity for something better. The reality is that living our lives this way means that better never comes.

At What Cost?

 Living life a life of over-commitment (as I did for much of my twenties and thirties) has many costs including:

  • Always being stressed
  • Always feeling exhausted
  • Always being late for meetings or deadlines
  • Letting family, friends, co-workers and clients down
  • Not completing important tasks and projects
  • Producing poor quality work
  • Not having any downtime and playtime
  • The undermining of creativity and clarity
  • Not feeling fulfilled and happy

When I look back, my greatest regrets are not spending more time with the people who mattered most to me and my greatest failures were often contributed to by spreading myself too thinly, consequently not giving 100%.

Unlocking the Power of Our Most Valuable Asset

Time is our most valuable asset. While we can make more money we cannot make more time. This logically means we cannot have it all. When presented with several attractive options it is natural to want to explore them all. The key, however, to making the most of what we currently have and the many opportunities that lie before us, is to consciously utilize the power of ‘trade-offs’.

When presented with several opportunities at once, rather than proceed with the mindset of having your cake and eating it, decide which of the available options you most want and put your energies and focus into that option only. While this approach is not easy, not least because we are twice as averse to loss as we are to making an equal gain, it’s better to consciously decide to take this path than have the negative consequences of trying to have it all foisted on you.

This may mean deciding whether you choose to spend 2 hours on social media having snatches of conversations with people you have never met or deciding to have a drink or dinner with one of your closest friends whose company you always enjoy. Deciding whether to take just one more call or send one more email or turn up on time for that important meeting? Making the decision not to spread yourself thinly across 3 business that all have potential or putting your time energy and focus into the business your heart is really in, thereby increasing its chances of success.

An Empowering Mindset and Approach

When faced with several attractive opportunities at once, frame your choice in terms of which opportunity (whether personal or work related) you will choose to give 100% to in order to increase the likelihood of success and fulfillment.

This approach is consciously adopted by outperformers across every field. On his return to Apple Steve Jobs famously slashed the number of product lines and focused the company’s time, energies and resources on a select few. Those who excel in sport and athletics, rarely focus on more than one event, even though they might actually be good at 2 or 3. A jack of all trades is rarely a master of one.

Embracing and utilizing the power of trade-offs, not only increases the chances of you succeeding in those endeavors that you fully invest your time, energy and focus in but it also results in less stress and more fulfillment. Saying ‘no’ is liberating. Fewer tasks, projects and businesses and not rushing from one thing to another, inevitably results in greater clarity and creativity. You can breathe again.

Choosing to spend your time with those you love and those whose company you value, as well as spending time doing the things you love, inevitably results in greater happiness and fulfillment. I didn’t have the foresight to live my live this way in the past, but I now have the benefit of hindsight, and while remaining relentless in my desire to succeed and be fulfilled, I will never again be seduced by the myth of having it all.

Martin Soorjoo works with individuals and teams to increase their Performance, Focus and Ability to Manage Pressure

Written by martin soorjoo · Categorized: mindset, performance, productivity, Stress Management, success, Time Management · Tagged: mindset, peak performance, stress, time management

Aug 24 2016

Solving Stress the Easy and Enjoyable Way

 

While research continues to highlight the benefits of stress (for more on this read Kelly McGonigal, PhD’s excellent ‘The Upside of Stress: Why Stress Is Good for You, and How to Get Good at It’), the position remains that some forms of stress e.g. long-term chronic stress can be destructive to our physical and emotional well-being.

The Problem With Standard Solutions to Stress

Although there are 101 strategies and techniques for addressing stress issues, people often perceive the solutions as being ineffective, drawn out and just another list of tasks to add to their already stressful to-do list and busy day.

An example of this was provided to me by a client who told me that her attempts last year to address her stress issues involved two CBT meetings a week, travelling 50 miles each trip. Her demanding role as CMO at a fast growing company meant that this ‘solution’ left her feeling exhausted and more stressed.

Feeling Good About Dealing with Stress

The implications of the above means that those working in the field of stress management must provide solutions that are easy to integrate into busy lives and result in the recipients feeling better, not worse.

The easier to implement and more enjoyable the solution the more likely it is to be adopted and result in a successful outcome. The following three ‘techniques’ that I use and recommend to friends, family and clients fall into this category.

Develop and Maintain Meaningful Friendships

Our brains rightly perceive our social networks as being essential to survival. Extended periods of loneliness and isolation consequently trigger our stress response. An extensive Harvard study concluded that a lack of strong relationships increased the risk of premature death by a staggering 50%.

Making and enjoying real and meaningful social connections (not a shallow social media interaction) reduces stress and anxiety as a result of the release of the powerful ‘feel good’ hormone, oxytocin. It’s important to note that what matters is the quality of the relationships not the quantity.

Be Grateful

In order to ensure we survive, our brains are hardwired to notice and focus on the negative. This is one of the primary reasons that media coverage of the news focuses on the negative. It goes without saying that operating with a negative focus goes hand in hand with being negatively stressed.

Research has proven that regularly acknowledging and feeling grateful for the people, experiences and things in our lives that we value, reduces stress and improves our overall well-being.

There are a number of effective ways to practice gratitude including:

  • Writing in a journal several times a week, three things you are grateful for.
  • Sharing three things you’re grateful for with a loved one or close friend.
  • Letting people know that you value and appreciate them.

While the research is clear as to the benefits of a gratitude practice, there are differing conclusions as to the appropriate frequency. Experiment with which practice and frequency works best for you, making sure you are connecting with, and fully expressing your feelings of gratitude and not simply ticking three things off as though they were items on your to-do list.

Embrace Rather than Fear Stress

In The Upside of Stress: Why Stress Is Good for You, and How to Get Good at It’, Kelly McGonigal identifies the many proven benefits of stress. Stress can improve your ability to perform and make you happier, smarter and stronger. McGonigal lays out a compelling argument based on extensive research, that choosing to embrace stress can result in you feeling more empowered.

Simply by changing our mindset and perception towards the stress we may experience, can have significant benefits for our health and happiness e.g. having a positive outlook on ageing can add an average of eight years to our lives. In short, how we choose to perceive something can transform its effect on us from negative to positive,

While there are specific mindset interventions for changing our perspective, it’s important to recognize that we change our opinions, beliefs and perspectives on a frequent basis. An obvious example occurs when we feel angry or disappointed at someone who has kept us waiting for a long time. We might initially think they are inconsiderate or inefficient. If, however, we subsequently discover they have an extremely good reason for being late, that belief is instantly dispelled. We can and must do the same when it comes to our perception of stress.

Martin Soorjoo works with individuals and teams to increase performance and resilience

Written by martin soorjoo · Categorized: performance, Resilience, Stress Management · Tagged: peak performance, stress, stress management

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