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Nov 11 2017

Five to Thrive at the Weekend

After a full on week, towards the end of what may have felt like a long year, the weekends provide an opportunity to recharge and rejuvenate. There are many ways you can do that – great food, a massage or sauna or walk in the park on or on the beach.

Or you can read. I read over 200 articles and at least 8 books a month. These are five that either inspired, energized or nourished my mind in some way. The ones that made pause and think.

Article – 20 Rules of Life A Japanese Samurai Wrote Almost 400 Years Ago That Will Change You

I really loved this post as the rules are timeless and set standards that we should all aspire to. It made me realise how far I have to go.

Book – ‘Discipline Equals Freedom – A Field Manual’ By Jocko Willink.

This time a book written by a modern day warrior; a former Navy Seal Commander.

This is a very quick read, but every page packs a punch. It would be impossible not to make progress if you lived by only a handful of these principles. The perfect read if you’re struggling and / or have big ambitions.

Article – ‘How to Remember What You Read‘

This is an extremely useful resource that provides insights and practical advice, the usefulness of which goes way beyond remembering what you read.

Article – ‘This is the World’s Most Relaxing Song‘

This is a bold claim. The track is available for free on the internet, and having played it a number of times, I can say it definitely worked for me. Don’t listen to it while you drive.

Book- ‘Principles: Life and Work ‘ By Ray Dalio

Dalio is the founder of one of the largest hedge funds in the world.

The New York Times described the book as

“Significant…The book is both instructive and surprisingly moving.” and Bill Gates said

“Ray Dalio has provided me with invaluable guidance and insights that are now available to you in Principles.”

I am still listening to the book and have a feeling I will be listening to it more than once.

Have a great weekend

 

Written by martin soorjoo · Categorized: Resilience, Stress Management

Nov 08 2017

The Ultimate Model of Fearlessness, Focus and Resilience

Modeling Excellence

One of the most important skills Neuro-Linguistic Programming (NLP) teaches you, is how to model examples of excellence. We can model human behavior by mastering the beliefs, physiology and specific thought processes that underpin the skill or behavior.

I was fortunate to be trained many years ago as a Master Practitioner of NLP by one of NLP’s original creators and have found modeling extremely useful in my coaching work when working with elite performers and those who want to take their performance to the next level.

A Model of Fearlessness, Focus and Resilience

I have learned much about fearlessness, focus and resilience, from my work with special-forces operators and elite athletes. It dawned on me today that I have the ultimate example of these qualities at home that would rival any modern day warrior or Olympic athlete. That model of excellence is my puppy Buddy.

Fearlessness

Buddy is always willing to try new things and never hesitates. He just goes for it without fear of the consequences. A recent example of this was when he dived head first into a cold pond and completely disappeared from sight. He had never been in the water before. To my relief he surfaced a few seconds later and came and shook the water all over me, before diving back in.

Focus

When Buddy locks his sights on something – usually food or another dog – then he is oblivious to anything else around him. He develops this incredible tunnel vision and it doesn’t matter how loud I call to him; he is 100% focused on his target. He may as well been trained by my recent show guest, former Navy SEAL and SEAL Sniper Head Instructor Brandon Webb .

Resilience

From time to time Buddy gets into scraps with other dogs; usually bigger dogs. Or he will fall off the sofa and land on his head or misjudge the jump into the backseat of my jeep and land in a way that would make any guy wince. But not Buddy. He simply picks himself up, no whining or looking back. Just looking forward to his next mission.

There are many books, articles and schools that purport to show humans how to train dogs. I can’t help thinking we humans could learn a lot from Buddy and his fellow dogs.

I asked Buddy if he would be willing to be my guest on The Outperform Show, but he declined saying he had to focus on achieving his goals and not helping me with mine…

PS. I wrote this post 2 years ago. This summer Buddy proved himself to be a real hero when we woke my wife and I up at 3am because our bedroom was on fire. I was out cold because of the smoke fumes but rather than save himself and escape Buddy kept barking and jumping on top of my wife until she woke up. Thanks to Buddy we escaped with minutes to spare before the top floor went up in flames. Buddy suffered as a result with chemical poisoning and PTSD but thankfully is on the road to recovery.

Written by martin soorjoo · Categorized: focus, mental toughness, Resilience

Sep 03 2017

How to Change Your Mindset and Achieve Your Potential

potential-1

THE PAST

For thousands of years it was believed by experts and athletes that the human body was not capable of running a 4-minute mile. In the 1940’s, the mile record was pushed to 4:01, where it stood for nine years. On May 6, 1954, Roger Bannister decided to change things and broke the 4-minute barrier, running the distance in 3:59.4.  As part of his training, he relentlessly visualized the achievement in order to create a sense of certainty in his mind and body. Believing it was possible, Bannister planned and trained for success. He changed his training regimen, training more frequently and with harder intervals.

Barely a year after Bannister’s accomplishment, someone else ran a mile in under 4 minutes and then many more did. Now, it’s almost routine. The current fastest time is 3:43.13 by Hicham El Guerrouj. The 4 minute mile barrier was psychological not physical and it’s only a matter of time before the current record is broken.

THE PRESENT

Contrary to previous thinking, scientists now know we have a tremendous capacity for lifelong learning and development. While our genes and ‘natural talent’ may provide some advantages, our mindset, beliefs, efforts and approach will nearly always outweigh what we start out with.

World-renowned Stanford University psychologist Carol Dweck, in her bestselling book ‘Mindset’, explains why it’s not just our abilities and talent that bring us success–but whether we approach them with a fixed or growth mindset.

People with a ‘growth mindset’ know they will get better through effort and embrace and learn from setbacks and failures. People with fixed mindsets believe they either are or are not good at something, based on their inherent nature and talents they are born with and see setbacks and failures as evidence that supports their beliefs.

Lessons From Sports, the Military, Medicine and a Legendary CEO

The importance of mindset is not news to the world of sports. Time and time again we see examples of athletes, who were not the most genetically advantaged beating stronger, faster athletes.

A case in point is the historic boxing match between Muhammad Ali and Sonny Liston. Liston was a feared fighter who had been world heavyweight champ since defeating Floyd Patterson in 1962. He was the most intimidating fighter of his day, and considered to be among the best heavyweights of all-time. Many boxers refused to meet him in the ring.

By contrast, Ali the inexperienced and lighter underdog, had only won a gold medal in the light heavyweight division at the 1960 Olympics in Rome. While training for their fight, Ali, who was a master of his own mindset and psyching his opponents out, taunted Liston and told reporters that he would win by knockout. After the sixth round, Liston, suffering from cuts and bruises under his eyes, announced he couldn’t continue. Ali won by a technical knockout and announced to the world, “I am the greatest!”

The Warrior Mindset

The military are no strangers to the importance of mindset. In the excellent ‘The Way of the Seal’, Former Navy SEAL Commander Mark Divine, explains the importance of finding your 20X factor, in other words doing 20X better than you think you can. Commander Divine states

“The SEAL’s aren’t the first band of warriors to figure out the 20X factor. ..The Spartans used the agoge, a brutal training program for young warriors that forged mental and physical toughness. The Eastern martial arts, such as those of the Shaolin monks and ninjutsu, and native warriors such as the Apache scouts all embraced the 20X factor.”

Mindset and a Legendary CEO

Finally, achievement mindsets are by no means limited to athletes and warriors. Former GE CEO Jack Welch, regarded by many as the greatest CEO of all time is reported to have attached great weight to mindset when hiring executives. According to Dweck, Welch hired according to “runway,” not pedigree, preferring graduates and military veterans to Ivy Leaguers. Welch demonstrated his belief in people’s capacity for growth by spending thousands of hours grooming and coaching employees on his executive team.

Belief and its impact on Health

Belief is at the core of a growth mindset and perhaps the best-known example of the power of belief is that of the placebo effect. Thousands of studies have consistently established that if a person believes they are taking a medication that will have a specific effect e.g. stopping nausea or a headache, then it will, even if they have only taken a sugar coated placebo.

Perhaps more striking are those examples of people with multiple personality disorders having the symptoms of their diseases and conditions instantly vanish as they switch personality

THE FUTURE

Change your OS and Upgrade Your Beliefs and Mindset

Most of us have disempowering and baseless beliefs and mindsets that hold us back in life. Often we developed these beliefs at any early stage, sometimes as a result of what teachers or a parent repeatedly told us. Although there is nearly always no evidential basis for these negative beliefs their effects can be extremely damaging.

Fortunately, there are many highly effective strategies and techniques for rapidly eliminating negative beliefs and upgrading your mindset.

This simple 3-step process is a good starting point.

  • Identify and Rebut – Write down (more powerful than typing because of the connection between your hand and mind) your limiting beliefs on the left hand column of one side of a sheet of paper and on the right hand column, list all of the reasons that that belief is wrong. This may take some time at first as you are training your brain to think about something in a different way. Look for evidence that undermines your negative beliefs and mindset.
  • See – Write down your new, empowering beliefs on a sheet of paper. First thing in the morning and last thing at night visualize yourself implementing actions consistent with that belief in some way. It’s important not to make the mistake that many do on focusing on having achieved the goal e.g. completing a difficult task but to visualize yourself taking the steps that will result in a successful outcome.For more on this see Gabriele Oettingen’s ‘Rethinking Positive Thinking’. Your visualization can be a 60 second movie trailer of you working out in the gym or delivering a successful presentation. See the scene through your eyes and play full out and experience as though it were real. As with most things, consistency is key so practice visualizing it on a daily basis for maximum impact.
  • Act – Bannister didn’t break the 4-minute mile by simply visualizing. He took massive action on a consistent basis. Once you have determined your new beliefs, immediately take at least one meaningful action that is consistent with your new beliefs e.g. if you have decided that you’re a person who can give great presentations, then immediately buy and read the leading book on the topic. Taking instant action takes your belief out of your mind and into reality.

While our beliefs and mindset are not the only components of a winning strategy, there can be no doubt they are the first, and indeed are a precondition for success, achievement and growth.

Written by martin soorjoo · Categorized: mindset, performance · Tagged: beliefs, goals, mindset

Aug 30 2017

How to Improve Your Performance Under Pressure

under-pressure

 

“Everything can be taken from a man but one thing: the last of the human freedoms—to choose one’s attitude in any given set of circumstances, to choose one’s own way.”

Viktor E. Frankl, Man’s Search for Meaning

Your Response to Pressure is a Choice

How we respond to pressure is a choice. For most people, however, their response is in line with a ‘threat response’, which unless you are about to experience actual physical harm, is not only counterproductive to our long-term well being but also to performing well under pressure.

This is because when we activate our threat response, hormones including adrenalin and cortisol are released, speeding the heart rate and slowing digestion while our blood vessels constrict to minimize blood loss and increase inflammation. People may also experience fear and anger, while our Amygdala causes us to focus on the negative.

Choose the Challenge Response

The field of pressure management is changing rapidly with exciting new findings challenging old assumptions about and solutions to pressure. An effective response to non-physical pressure is the ‘challenge response’[1]. When we decide to frame an engagement as a challenge, we are typically more able to effectively access the cognitive resources necessary to perform well under pressure. When we ‘rise to the challenge’ we typically feel energized and excited in addition to experiencing a degree of anxiety.

Research has consistently demonstrated that when choosing the challenge response, students attain higher exam grades, surgeons operate with greater concentration and athletes perform better during competition.

Putting This into Practice

Long term the objective must be to bring about a mindset shift that leads to your default response to high-pressure (non-physical) situations being the challenge response. This can be achieved through mindset interventions.

If, however, you are facing an imminent high pressure challenge e.g. a public speaking engagement, job / promotion interview or a difficult negotiation, implement the following steps:

  1. If you have advance notice of the high-pressure challenge, spend a few minutes seeing it for what it really is, focusing on the positive aspects which may include:
  • It is not a life-threatening situation.
  • It is an opportunity to advance in some way.
  • You are capable to rising to this challenge.
  • You have done something similar before and received positive feedback.
  • You have faced and overcome more difficult challenges.
  • People want you to do well.
  1. Generate feelings of excitement and enthusiasm and commit to approaching your challenge in this emotional state.
  1. Spend a few minutes visualizing yourself performing well under pressure and feeling energized and focused. Contrary to popular but disproven belief, it’s important not to focus on the outcome but on your actual performance e.g. how you deliver your presentation or deal with questions. Focusing on the outcome simply increased the pressure you feel.

It’s important when visualizing to engage all your senses, so see what you will be likely to see, hear yourself speaking and feel how you want to feel.

If you want to take your visualization to the next level then take a leaf out of the books of special forces operators and world class athletes and anticipate things not going to plan e.g. being asked a question you didn’t anticipate but handling the situation calmly. In other words, expect the best but prepare for the worst.

Remember Pressure and Stress Save Lives

It’s important to acknowledge both our threat and challenge responses as assets that can serve us well and even save our lives. Pressure and stress have got a bad rap over the past few decades and there is some basis for this.

Recent exciting research, however, has proven that the mere act of choosing to perceive and indeed recognize pressure and stress as having the potential to be a good thing rather than something to be avoided at all costs, not only mitigates long term adverse consequences but supports better performance.

[1] The model of challenge and threat was developed by Blascovich and Tomaka (1996 & see also Blascovich & Mendes, 2000& Mendes, Blascovich, Lickel, & Hunter,2002& Mendes, Blascovich, Major, & Seery, 2001 & Tomaka, Blascovich).

Martin Soorjoo works with individuals and teams to improve Performance, Focus and Pressure Management

Written by martin soorjoo · Categorized: performance, Pressure management, Stress Management · Tagged: peak performance, performance, pressure management, resilience, stress, stress management

Aug 28 2017

How to Harness Fear, Failure and Frustration to Dramatically Increase Motivation

 

fear and motivation

Motivation is frequently linked to optimism and positivity. The 1952 classic and bestseller ‘The Power of Positive Thinking’ by the Reverend Norman Vincent Peale, was translated into 15 languages and to date has sold more than 7million copies. It is still very popular today.

Positive thinking dominates the fields of self-help and human performance, from images with inspirational quotations (the sort that I frequently share on social media) to the use of tried and tested mental performance tools such as positive self-talk and visualizing success.

To be clear, these tools are not used by hippies in fields of flowers living a vegan, organic lifestyle, but by Olympians, special forces operators and other elite performers, as well as being a management tool used by many Fortune 500 companies.

In ‘Thinking, Fast and Slow’, Nobel Prize-winner Daniel Kahneman described optimism as the “engine of capitalism” stating that:

“Optimistic individuals play a disproportionate role in shaping our lives. Their decisions make a difference; they are the inventors, the entrepreneurs, the political and military leaders — not average people.”

Professor Martin Seligman, former President of the American Psychological Association and credited as being the ‘father of Positive Psychology has repeatedly demonstrated that optimism promotes both resilience and persistence.

Seligman consulted with the Pentagon on the development of the military’s Comprehensive Soldier Fitness program, which sought to assess and enhance soldiers’ ability to cope with all of life’s challenges, including the mental rigors of combat.

The authors (one a retired Navy SEAL) of ‘Stronger: Develop the Resilience You Need to Succeed’ identify active optimism as the leading factor in personal resilience—the ability to tolerate stress, see opportunities in adversity, and keep pushing forward.

So it’s clear; being opimistic and focusing on the positive increases motivation, resilience and achievement. However…

The Downside of Being Upbeat

Over the past few years researchers, neuroscientists and psychologists have begun to demonstrate that focusing on the positive can be detrimental to motivation and achievement.

New York University psychology professor and author of ‘Rethinking Positive Thinking’  Gabriele Oettingen, persuasively contends that visualizing a successful outcome can make people less likely to achieve it.

Researchers have also found that people in a negative mood develop more persuasive arguments than people in a positive mood, and that negative moods can improve memory.

Perhaps this is why so many lawyers are negative and suffer from disproportionately high levels of depression than other professions. Although never suffering from depression, as a Barrister practising at the Bar of England and Wales for 14 years (arguing cases rather than making coffee), I certainly spent much of my career focusing on the negative.

Denial can also be a consequence of positive thinking. Barbara Ehrenreich, journalist and author of ‘Bright-Sided: How Positive Thinking Is Undermining America’, argues that the 2008 economic crisis was partly a result of people’s refusal to consider negative outcomes, like mortgage defaults.

The Upside of Focusing on the Negative

Focusing on the negative can have two distinct benefits. The first is the avoidance of denial and enabling of more effective planning. The second benefit is that negative emotions, possibly triggered by painful memories, can fuel determination and action.

One effective technique for utilising the power of negative focus is that of the premortem. Here you imagine things have gone wrong before they have and then analyse all of the reasons you might have failed.

Brad Stulberg, author of ‘Peak Performance: Elevate Your Game, Avoid Burnout’ and Thrive With the New Science of Success’ explains

“It may seem like the negative thinking inherent to a premortem would work against self-belief and confidence. But if anything, it actually works toward it. When you force yourself to become aware of all that could go wrong, you become more likely to take the necessary steps to ensure that things go right.”

Using the Dark Side as Motivation

Elite performers will frequently access their painful memories, dark thoughts and negative emotions to fuel their motivation during extreme challlenges.

Robert Wicks, psychologist and author of the book ‘Bounce: Living the Resilient Life’, talks of the angry resolve frustrated athletes feel as “sweet disgust”. This refers to the determination to fight back which goes hand in hand, in this context, with anger.

Tim Grover, coach to legends such as Michael Jordan and Kobe Bryant and author of the compelling ‘Relentless: From Good to Great to Unstoppable’ refers to controlled anger being a deadly weapon that

“can ignite our competitive intensity, laser focus, and a relentless craving to attack and conquer.”

Retired Navy SEAL and ultra-marathon runner, David Goggins, described as ‘the hardest man alive’ uses his difficult experiences to fuel his motivation as well as thinking some very dark thoughts. His achievements are truly remarkable. Watch this interview with him and you’ll immediately understand what I mean.

Last week I had the privilege of interviewing Ret Navy SEAL Commander, Alden Mills, for my podcast show. In addition to having operated in the SEALS, Mills also overcame asthma, going on to win a gold medal for rowing, went on to lead his first company to $90 million in sales in just three years and authored the excellent ‘Be Unstoppable: The 8 Essential Actions to Succeed at Anything’.

During the interview Mills describes how, in times of challenge, he would intensely visualize himself failing and the attendant painful consequences of doing so. These negative visualizations would help propel him forward to crush the obstacle or challenge.

Key Takeaways

  • Mental performance techniques and strategies that focus on positivity and active optimism can be powerful solutions for increasing motivation and action.
  • For some people, in some contexts, positive thinking can undermine motivation and achievement.
  • Anger, painful memories or future visualizations of negative outcomes can be very powerful tools for increasing motivation and driving performance, particularly when facing extreme challenges.
  • One size does not fit all. Which strategy works will depend on who you are, what is going on in your life at the time and what challenge you are facing.

Written by martin soorjoo · Categorized: Goals, Motivation, performance, Resilience · Tagged: achievement, goals, motivation, peak perormance, performance, resilience, success

Aug 20 2017

The Power of Trade-Offs

Tradeoffs

Can You Have it all?

It took me several decades to fully appreciate that the myth that you can ‘have it all’ really is just that – a myth. This belief, often pedaled by personal development and success coaches, undermines fulfillment and meaningful achievement in our personal and work lives.

The belief that ‘you can have it all’ pervades our lives in various guises ranging from being busy rather than effective, multi-tasking rather than single tasking, working on multiple businesses and projects rather than one, having thousands of online ‘friends’ rather than enjoying a few deep ‘real world’ relationships.

Many Priorities vs One Real Priority

More than ever we live in an era where quantity is perceived as a triumph over quality. Always being busy, having plenty on the go and getting by on a few hours sleep are badges of honor. This thinking in part is driven by not wanting to miss out on the opportunity for something better. The reality is that living our lives this way means that better never comes.

At What Cost?

 Living life a life of over-commitment (as I did for much of my twenties and thirties) has many costs including:

  • Always being stressed
  • Always feeling exhausted
  • Always being late for meetings or deadlines
  • Letting family, friends, co-workers and clients down
  • Not completing important tasks and projects
  • Producing poor quality work
  • Not having any downtime and playtime
  • The undermining of creativity and clarity
  • Not feeling fulfilled and happy

When I look back, my greatest regrets are not spending more time with the people who mattered most to me and my greatest failures were often contributed to by spreading myself too thinly, consequently not giving 100%.

Unlocking the Power of Our Most Valuable Asset

Time is our most valuable asset. While we can make more money we cannot make more time. This logically means we cannot have it all. When presented with several attractive options it is natural to want to explore them all. The key, however, to making the most of what we currently have and the many opportunities that lie before us, is to consciously utilize the power of ‘trade-offs’.

When presented with several opportunities at once, rather than proceed with the mindset of having your cake and eating it, decide which of the available options you most want and put your energies and focus into that option only. While this approach is not easy, not least because we are twice as averse to loss as we are to making an equal gain, it’s better to consciously decide to take this path than have the negative consequences of trying to have it all foisted on you.

This may mean deciding whether you choose to spend 2 hours on social media having snatches of conversations with people you have never met or deciding to have a drink or dinner with one of your closest friends whose company you always enjoy. Deciding whether to take just one more call or send one more email or turn up on time for that important meeting? Making the decision not to spread yourself thinly across 3 business that all have potential or putting your time energy and focus into the business your heart is really in, thereby increasing its chances of success.

An Empowering Mindset and Approach

When faced with several attractive opportunities at once, frame your choice in terms of which opportunity (whether personal or work related) you will choose to give 100% to in order to increase the likelihood of success and fulfillment.

This approach is consciously adopted by outperformers across every field. On his return to Apple Steve Jobs famously slashed the number of product lines and focused the company’s time, energies and resources on a select few. Those who excel in sport and athletics, rarely focus on more than one event, even though they might actually be good at 2 or 3. A jack of all trades is rarely a master of one.

Embracing and utilizing the power of trade-offs, not only increases the chances of you succeeding in those endeavors that you fully invest your time, energy and focus in but it also results in less stress and more fulfillment. Saying ‘no’ is liberating. Fewer tasks, projects and businesses and not rushing from one thing to another, inevitably results in greater clarity and creativity. You can breathe again.

Choosing to spend your time with those you love and those whose company you value, as well as spending time doing the things you love, inevitably results in greater happiness and fulfillment. I didn’t have the foresight to live my live this way in the past, but I now have the benefit of hindsight, and while remaining relentless in my desire to succeed and be fulfilled, I will never again be seduced by the myth of having it all.

Martin Soorjoo works with individuals and teams to increase their Performance, Focus and Ability to Manage Pressure

Written by martin soorjoo · Categorized: mindset, performance, productivity, Stress Management, success, Time Management · Tagged: mindset, peak performance, stress, time management

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